Father Guido's Family Vacation - Wyoming or Bust!

Day One:
And we’re off on our epic adventure, soon to go down in the history books with all the other great quests….the Odyssey…King Arthur…Harry Potter….the Bible.   The RV is loaded (or overloaded), all 8 participants are present, with 3 more to join us over the next few days.   

I’ll try to not to bore you with all the details, and keep it to the exciting, but the first few days involve a LOT of driving, so I’ve got to work with what I’ve got.   Let’s start by introducing the cast of characters.


First there are the drivers…Rough & Tough…full of machismo and desire to protect us and bring our brood to each destination safe and unscathed.  Also already full of beef jerky by the time I write this.   I’ll let you decide as the days go on which one is Tough and which one is Rough.

There’s the Patriarch for whom the trip tolls.   We also call him Pop-pop.  (Flat Father Guido, who will for times’ sake now be referred to as FFG, is of course the scaled model of the Patriarch)

The Matriarch, she goes by Nona….whose primary goal for this trip is to ensure that all participants (including the dogs and FFG) acquire the perfectly fit and shaped cowboy hat.

Kiki , who is fifteen weeks pregnant, which will thus get her all the best stops, seats & comforts during what is bound to be an uncomfortable adventure.  Not that we anticipate any fights, but she’s pretty good at taming in Tough & Rough.

And we have the Entertainment…we’ll call them 7 and 5.  Here’s a story, at 5:00 am this morning, 5 says “This is the best vacation I’ve ever had.”  To which Ma said “I know you’ll think that on day 6, but I wonder if you’ll think that 6 hours later today.”  Have I mentioned that our trip started with a 14-hour drive from Richmond to Chicago. 

I am the scribe…otherwise known as Ma for this blog…and this is because not 5 minutes passes in the RV without either 7 or 5 yelling “MA, MA, MAAAA”.  And I remind you that we are all sitting on top of each other in our Traveling Luxury. 

We have a bodyguard, our four-legged pal, Moose.   He barely takes up any space in the RV, see picture below.

Flat Father Guido….or FFG….It wouldn’t be Father Guido’s Family Vacation without him!  Watch for all the exciting places he turns up and things he sees.  It can be like a game, where’s Wald…I mean, FFG?

So today was the beginning.  We pulled out at 6:15am, Tough driving, and 5 and 7 still in their jammies (hoping they’d go back to sleep, which of course they never did).   We had a simple 14 hour drive ahead of us, and overall, we made GREAT time.  It merely took us 15 hours and 15 minutes.  Winning.

The primary events of the day involved everyone settling into the rhythm of the RV.  Imagine being on a small boat on a stormy sea, while having the wind noise of the behind-the-engine-seat on an airplane, and the airplane bathroom.  (Dramamine – get more asap)

The first few hours were rough, but by lunch I think we were all feeling more settled in.  Rough, Tough & Pop-pop all actually took naps in the back while we were moving, which is like napping on a waterbed after a St Bernard jumped on it.

The highlight of the day was getting our next passenger, sort of.  Our western guide, we’ll call him El Guapo, met us in Indianapolis and will be making the journey west with us, though he has a rental car, which gives the option of some respite from Traveling Luxury.    He greeted FFG with a big family hug.    Then we all trekked on the last bit, past the Windmill Farms of Lafayette (check them out, very cool), and arrived at Grandmother’s house outside of Chicago.  

I now finish typing this while lying on the bed in the back of Traveling Luxury, and though we are completely still, I can’t sleep yet for that feeling that my bed is still bouncing up and down like I’m on an Olympic trampoline.   Well, maybe a few pike half twist jumps will do the trick.