Are we there yet???

Day Two

You know that scene in every family vacation movie where the father who still has to work during the trip has extreme problems with his technology….can’t find a signal, phone goes in the lake, etc.  Yea, that’s us.  We all brought laptops, smart phones, ipads, etc.  And of course, on the first morning, we lost a blackberry.   Found it awhile later, but caused a bit of a scare for a bit.  But yes, we are on VACATION.  

Enjoyed a nice breakfast with the Grandmother, then a group of us headed out in the rental car to spend the day in Chicago.  Kiki’s parents were there, and we were meeting up with them to spend the day.   I asked Nona as were were leaving, “Surely we don’t need the rainjackets, right?  It’s gorgeous out.”  And she agreed, “you definitely won’t need them.”  Famous last words. 

Btw, those of you whom we love, sweltering back east in the August heat, we are enjoying breezy, non-humid 70 degree days and even cooler at night!  Jealous?

So we got into Chicago, spent about an hour in the Swedish area near Wrigley field where Ma has friends, and Kiki’s grandparents live.  Then we took the L-train downtown.   As we were boarding the L-train, we noticed the dark, ominous looking clouds rolling towards the city from the northwest.    “Should I check the radar?” I ask the drivers.   Pulled out the ‘ol iphone (love that technology), and Weather Bug showed the nastiest looking red/orange storm……coming directly for us. 

We braved the rain the rest of the way to the Hancock building without umbrellas or ponchos….I mean, we are tourists!   While we looked down on the city from an amazing height, the storm cleared and the sun returned.   And the drive home along Lake Shore Drive was fantastic. 

Spent our last evening with Grandmother, and bedded down for another long, long, long....long, long day headed west.  

Day Three

Hmmm….what can you say about a 12-hour drive, mostly through Iowa.  You know, I thought we’d see more corn.  Has anyone seen the corn? (Oh yeah, there were some sunflower fields, pretty.)

Breakfast in Traveling Luxury

This was the day we started to loathe Traveling Luxury.  We literally played musical chairs every hour, as each one of us traded seats trying to stretch our legs, change the position of our hindquarters, nap, but not really nap.  (Remember the St Bernard analogy of Day 1).  

Saying Bye to Kiki's parents. Where's FFG?

Highlights of this day include topping at the Scenic View in Iowa to see the Missouri River.  I mean, literally this is in the middle of NOWHERE, and there were no other cars stopped for miles.  But there was this wooden stair tower for you to climb and see the view.  Look, there’s Nic…viewing.  (Sce-nic view?… Anyone?)  I think it was ruse for Rough & Tough to use the bathroom.  Where's FFG?

We also had some fun, when we pulled over one time for a bathroom break (remember we have a rental car with us, so those guys can’t use the spacious restroom on Traveling Luxury.  So we all pulled over on the side of the road, and Rough got out of the rental to start walking towards the RV.  In the meantime, in the RV, Tough had parked us at such a level on the shoulder that if we had all stood at one time, we were surely tipping like a pushed cow asleep at midnight.   So Tough pulled forward, stopped, then pulled forward again.   Only El Guapo driving the rental saw the Tommy Boy moment when Rough reached the RV, only to have it pull away from him, and repeat.   But we all died laughing upon hearing it later.  Should’ve installed that dashboard camera.

We finally reached our campground in Mitchell, SD around 9pm…oh, after eating dinner in Sioux Falls, at Arbys.  Did I mention that we also ate dinner at Arbys the first night?  I actually ordered the same thing.  We vowed not to eat Arby’s again for a month.

The campground was nice, El Guapo offered to jump in the pool with 5 & 7, which lasted about 2 minutes when 7 realized it was freezing.  Kiki and Tough slept in a tent, the rest of us (7 total) slept in every available space inside Traveling Luxury…but it was a nice night, and brought Nona & Pop-pop back into their old camping days which had disappeared back around 1983.   

So much more to come, stay tuned. 

 

Father Guido's Family Vacation - Wyoming or Bust!

Day One:
And we’re off on our epic adventure, soon to go down in the history books with all the other great quests….the Odyssey…King Arthur…Harry Potter….the Bible.   The RV is loaded (or overloaded), all 8 participants are present, with 3 more to join us over the next few days.   

I’ll try to not to bore you with all the details, and keep it to the exciting, but the first few days involve a LOT of driving, so I’ve got to work with what I’ve got.   Let’s start by introducing the cast of characters.


First there are the drivers…Rough & Tough…full of machismo and desire to protect us and bring our brood to each destination safe and unscathed.  Also already full of beef jerky by the time I write this.   I’ll let you decide as the days go on which one is Tough and which one is Rough.

There’s the Patriarch for whom the trip tolls.   We also call him Pop-pop.  (Flat Father Guido, who will for times’ sake now be referred to as FFG, is of course the scaled model of the Patriarch)

The Matriarch, she goes by Nona….whose primary goal for this trip is to ensure that all participants (including the dogs and FFG) acquire the perfectly fit and shaped cowboy hat.

Kiki , who is fifteen weeks pregnant, which will thus get her all the best stops, seats & comforts during what is bound to be an uncomfortable adventure.  Not that we anticipate any fights, but she’s pretty good at taming in Tough & Rough.

And we have the Entertainment…we’ll call them 7 and 5.  Here’s a story, at 5:00 am this morning, 5 says “This is the best vacation I’ve ever had.”  To which Ma said “I know you’ll think that on day 6, but I wonder if you’ll think that 6 hours later today.”  Have I mentioned that our trip started with a 14-hour drive from Richmond to Chicago. 

I am the scribe…otherwise known as Ma for this blog…and this is because not 5 minutes passes in the RV without either 7 or 5 yelling “MA, MA, MAAAA”.  And I remind you that we are all sitting on top of each other in our Traveling Luxury. 

We have a bodyguard, our four-legged pal, Moose.   He barely takes up any space in the RV, see picture below.

Flat Father Guido….or FFG….It wouldn’t be Father Guido’s Family Vacation without him!  Watch for all the exciting places he turns up and things he sees.  It can be like a game, where’s Wald…I mean, FFG?

So today was the beginning.  We pulled out at 6:15am, Tough driving, and 5 and 7 still in their jammies (hoping they’d go back to sleep, which of course they never did).   We had a simple 14 hour drive ahead of us, and overall, we made GREAT time.  It merely took us 15 hours and 15 minutes.  Winning.

The primary events of the day involved everyone settling into the rhythm of the RV.  Imagine being on a small boat on a stormy sea, while having the wind noise of the behind-the-engine-seat on an airplane, and the airplane bathroom.  (Dramamine – get more asap)

The first few hours were rough, but by lunch I think we were all feeling more settled in.  Rough, Tough & Pop-pop all actually took naps in the back while we were moving, which is like napping on a waterbed after a St Bernard jumped on it.

The highlight of the day was getting our next passenger, sort of.  Our western guide, we’ll call him El Guapo, met us in Indianapolis and will be making the journey west with us, though he has a rental car, which gives the option of some respite from Traveling Luxury.    He greeted FFG with a big family hug.    Then we all trekked on the last bit, past the Windmill Farms of Lafayette (check them out, very cool), and arrived at Grandmother’s house outside of Chicago.  

I now finish typing this while lying on the bed in the back of Traveling Luxury, and though we are completely still, I can’t sleep yet for that feeling that my bed is still bouncing up and down like I’m on an Olympic trampoline.   Well, maybe a few pike half twist jumps will do the trick.

My Crazed Fear of Failure

WARNING:  Not only is it long, but reading this particular entry may give you the idea that the writer is arrogant, proud or full of herself.  She promises that she is not these things, and somewhere towards the end, you may realize that she is being VERY transparent about her fears. ….oh, ok, so she does own being some of those things…sometimes. 

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I’m not good at failing.  In fact, in my mind, I don’t do it….at all….ever.  I know I’m not perfect, I make mistakes. 

I sometimes yell at my kids in stress when they don’t deserve it.

I leave dirty dishes in the sink for two or three days.

I sometimes have to apologize to people at work for little things.

I have sent emails and forgotten the attachment.

But that’s not what I’m talking about here.  I don’t like to FAIL.  To fail means you didn’t finish what you started.  To fail means you had a great idea, attempted it and it bombed.  To fail means you really let someone down.  To fail means you just didn’t do a good job.   And I just don’t do those things. 

My whole life has been about doing a good job.  I have always been praised for how hard I work, how good my ideas turn out, what a good job I did.  I’ve won awards, people have often been compared to me.   And don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for those voices in my life, as a child, in school, in work, in my life. 

I want to tell my own kids that they are great, that everything they do is good, the best even.   I want them to grow up that confident, believing they have a Midas touch, like me.  I really believe that I can do anything I set my mind to…and that it will be great, and I want my kids to believe that too.

But in me, it has created a monster.   A monster that has set standards so high it’s next to impossible for anyone else to live up to them, a monster that is afraid to delegate because the job won’t be done right, a monster that has amazing ideas all the time…..

……but only ever attempts one or two of them because the fear of failure is too strong.  That’s the real ugly truth.  I don’t do half of what I wish to out of fear. 

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I really want to write, always have.    I’m gifted at other things, I’m a good teacher and I’m a great event planner, and I actually believe that God has given me the spiritual gifts to match those things. 

But I long to write, since I was a kid.  I used to write poems and short stories.  I have ideas in my head for great books….books for parents based on my years of experience with their teenagers, a devotional book for busy moms (think of a mom who can reach out and smack the butt of her kid running by from her “quiet time” chair), fiction books for teenage girls that have scriptural foundations (but with plot lines as cool as Gossip Girls), books about women & friendships without traveling pants or red hats. 

Or, I just want to blog more, that’s writing too.  I have good blog ideas at least once a day.  I read amazing blogs that inspire me, move me, make me laugh out loud.  And they are written by these seemingly busy moms who are amazing writers.  And I want to do that. 

I just don’t have the time, I say, It’s not my time of life yet to do that.    But that’s not the truth.  I don’t because I’m afraid.   I’m so confident about other stuff in my life, but not this.  It makes me too vulnerable. 

I’m afraid to put myself out there, the hundreds of rejections before someone sees the potential in just one of the many, many things I’ve written.  All the letters of criticism….fix this, change that.   Sometimes I get started only to think, this is not good enough.  More often I won’t even start because I think, No one is going to like this, heck no one is even going to read it.

Several months ago, I got inspired to put these fears on paper, to write this particular post, because an author I read wrote this on his blog, “90% done & published is better than 100% but still in my head.”   So I started this post and it sat on my computer, the fear of it staring me down daily. 

And then, the other day, I posted a comment on a blog that I read often.   This author is a total stranger, yet I am so inspired by her thoughts and ideas.   And the next thing I know, she had left a comment on an old blog post of mine.  She had taken the time to read my comment, look up my page and read several of my posts. 

Now mind you, people read my blog.  Obviously you are right now.  My dear sweet mother posts the link on Facebook out of pride for her daughter.  But it’s not a lot of people, and all friends.  But then this stranger….read something I wrote….and it was okay.  Who knows if it was good enough, if she thought I wrote well…if it inspired her.   It moved her enough to comment.  

And it was good enough.   Who cares if it was great or not, it was enough.    And I am enough without the accomplishments, failures, successes and all.  I can write you another post on another day about why failing sometimes is good for us (….who am I kidding, I hate it too much to look for the value in it). 

But today, I just know that I am enough, I don’t have to be perfect, or even great all the time.  But I have to start what I dream to do, and can’t be afraid in the process.  That fear kept me from completing this particular post which I started months ago. 

I’ve got a long, long way to go to overcome this fear that’s keeping me from my dream, but this is a start.   I’ll let you know how it goes.  Or maybe one day, you’ll find out when you see my name on that book you just picked up at Barnes ‘N Nobles.

A southern gal is always ready to entertain

So it's 11:30 pm, and I should be heading off to bed, but I'm up still baking pw's vanilla scones for an event tomorrow (delish!). It's been a long day, I changed into my sweats and comfy shirt long ago. I pulled my hair back...but I did put on my fav super-cute, orange & teal, polka-dot, ruffled apron I bought at a vintage shop in Florida.

So I'm waiting for the scones to cool so I can ice them, and I'm washing a few dishes, and I look up to see my reflection in the window (remember, it's 11:30pm), and I laugh out loud as I see that I'm still wearing my fancy, dangly earrings from work today!

And I start thinking about it and realize that my cute apron hides the grungy clothes, and my dangly earrings make the hair look alright...between that, the scones, and my favorite kitchen appliance (my instant hot water boiler),...should there be a knock at the door, I would instantly be ready for afternoon company with tea and perfect Southern hospitality.

Of course, it's not the afternoon, it's 11:30 pm, and if there was a knock at a Southern girl's door at this time of night, tea would be served up with a baseball bat!

All I need now is bright red lipstick and a poma-tini, and I'd be channeling Lucille Ball (or pioneer woman... #shoutout).

A southern gal is ALWAYS ready to entertain!

My One Word, 2011

Praise.

That’s my word. At first glance, I’m shocked at myself. Way to be Christian-cheesy. As in, I’m going to praise God for everything, in all I do this year. Which prior to now, would have said to me, You’re a totally unrealistic fool who thinks being a Christian means that life is going to be perfect, and happy, and I’ll just praise Jesus all the time because I won’t have hard times to doubt or question him. Hello, look at me…miss sarcastic, pessimistic, analytical, etc….why wouldn’t I pick a word like Introspect. Or Pause. Or Listen. Or Find. Or Create. Or Wait. All things I need more of in my life, and all seeming to fit me, my faith, my life better than….Praise.

But God gave me this word. Literally. And stuff like that doesn’t happen to me. I’ve been very up and down lately in my faith. I’ve been recharged, and yet angry….emotional, and yet non-feeling….praying, and not praying. But God doesn’t often speak to me, and when he has in the past, it always comes in the form of very specific thoughts I will have (see what I’m like above), like when I randomly get a new solution to a problem or when I give someone advice and then think, wow, that’s really a good idea. That’s how God speaks to me.

Today I went running, first time in months, and man it felt great. I decided to listen to worship music b/c I just felt like I needed some up in my faith, yesterday was a lot of down. And I wasn’t even trying to think about the One Word project. But all of the sudden, there it was in my mind….Praise. And I felt like God was speaking into my thoughts, to me, understanding the person I am.

Find ways to praise Me this year…especially when you’re angry with Me.

Praise Me for the good stuff that you know you’ve taken for granted.

Praise Me for the loss that is painful because you know it’s for my good.

Find all the little ways to praise Me, Joni, because you will pull closer to me, and I will be faithful to you.

So I’m especially emotional right now b/c my grandfather is dying. It will be soon, within days or a few weeks, and he is my family’s rock, and a hero to me. But I’ll post on that later. But I felt like God was expressing to me that I do get the reality of life, it’s hard, we’re not perfect, and I hate the churchy pretending….and He knows that I’ve always struggled with “churchi-ness”, but that doesn’t give me the right to turn up my nose at doing something that is inherently basic to my love for Him and His love for me…..just because it’s something that makes me feel like an old Southern Baptist Sunday School teacher.

Praise me.

Thank you God, today for my son b/c he is so creative and frankly, it’s hilarious that he confuses the words “privacy” and “diarrhea”. (Imagine him yelling from the bathroom, “mom….I have privacy…privacy, mom.”)

Thank you God, today for my beautiful daughter who has such a strong, confident personality that at 7, she and I already wear each other’s patience thin.

Thank you God, today for my husband and his habits, all of which I love, even though I have literally devoted my life to trying to change them.

Thank you for my home, which will eternally be messy.

And thank you, thank you God, for my grandfather. And though right now I am in pain, You are going to take him home where he will finally be pain-free, and the legacy he has left me is staggering for your kingdom.

I think I can do this praise thing, and I think I can do it my way, the way that fits me. And I think that’s exactly what God wants.

Praise. 2011.

If you’re interested in this My One Word idea, check out their website. Tons of bloggers are doing this and if you google One Word, you’ll see hundreds of them, some of whom are claiming the idea. Who knows where it really started, but the most original site I could find is this one. I fell in love with this idea instantly, but struggled with what my word would be.

Thank you God, for giving me my word.

The UnSocial Network

So I watched The Social Network the other night, even as it was winning a Golden Globe for best picture. And surprisingly, the movie was really good...Jesse Eisenberg was incredible. Who knows what Mark Zuckerberg is really like, I've seen some interviews with him. But if I were going to imagine the inventor of Facebook, Eisenbergs' character would have been perfect...and apparently, it's not far off the truth. And ironically, for hype about the story being very one-sided and perhaps unkind to Zuckerberg, favoring his former-friends-turned-enemies, I actually found myself quite endeared to the awkward, idea-obsessed character. In fact, I felt the movie often favored him and made his "friends" who ended up suing him look like whiny left-behinds.
People have said that this movie shows the obsession for money and success that drives much of the young Silicon Valley crowd, but in fact, if any of this movie holds truth, it's that Zuckerberg's obsession was truly the success of his ideas and nothing that came from those ideas. The mark of success for him was the brilliance of the ideas....and they are, and we've all been suckered into it. You know, in our daily lives, no one goes around saying, "man I feel so sorry for that millionaire," or "I'd really hate to have the life of that billionaire"....but see this movie. You really feel sorry for all of them, and they're all rich today....no matter which side they were on.
It's not the whole story, it's a movie based on real-life people, and the average movie-goer can't separate the reality from the fiction or exaggeration. But the big irony this movie shows that I'd say has a high-probability of truth, is just how "unsocial" these founders of Facebook were (and prob still are).
But it's a great movie with good acting, and does serve as an interesting "source" of information on what has become a standard facet, if not obsession, of all of our every day lives.
I recommend.

I RAN a Half Marathon!

Here's the proof:

Pre-race. Don't be fooled by the smiles, we were FREEZING.

I'm really not in as much pain as my face shows. I was enjoying myself.

Crossing the finish line. I really ran the whole thing...didn't even walk!
All done, medals achieved!!!! (Be sure to note Anna in the picture)

All in all, it was a great day. Don't get me wrong....it was hard & painful (esp for the next 3 days), but it was fun. I had a great time, achieved a decent time that I was proud of, and proved to myself a really big lesson of determination. And while I won't do it again, I'd say I've come to enjoy running, and am looking forward to the 10k in the spring.