I asked my kids in the car the other day if they wanted to
make anything for their grandmothers, Nona and Memaw, for Mother’s Day. My son responded with, “why would I
make something for them, they are not my mom.” This of course, was a gut reaction to not wanting to have to
do more work, he adores his grandmothers.
But his question was valid for a 6 year old. And of course I responded with the quick & obvious answers
of the importance. But I pondered
on this for a while afterwards, the depth of this question to which the answer
is legacy. How do you explain legacy? Can it simply be explained or is it only learned through
experience?
(As I tell this story,
I am sensitive to the fact that many around me do not have the richness of
family that I am blessed with, and I do not share to hold that up at
anyone. But this is my story, and
on this day, I want to honor my mother and those in it.)
I have learned in my own life that I have a rich legacy, one
that I am proud of, and it is a priority to me to make sure that my children
understand their heritage. As I
answered my son with the obligatory, “we honor all mothers on Mother’s Day,”
and the more significant, “buddy, mommy & daddy wouldn’t be such good
parents for you if it weren’t for Nona and Memaw”, I thought about what that
really meant.
My mom is a rock.
Her strength is astounding.
She was raised in a tough environment, and then also went through tough
stuff when my brothers and I were young.
I understood little of this until becoming an adult, but know understand
how strong my mother truly is. I
have been very blessed in that I have not endured many really tough challenges
in my own life. Ironically, until
now, and my challenge now is not my own but my families, and more my mothers’
than anyone. And I completely
understand that my strength comes from her, and yet as I have to stand on my
strength now, I am watching her yet again, be the rock for our family.
Strength is not passed on genetically. But it is also not something that you
know have learned until you have stopped to examine where your strength comes
from. Then as you think about each
individual challenge in your life and your responses to them, you think about
where you learned, saw, and understood that behavior to model it. And I know I took those things directly
from all I saw and heard from my mother growing up.
My mother is an amazing role model. She and my dad have been married for 40
years. Often when people here this
said about a married couple they think things like, “Wow, you’re lucky you’re
parents stayed together,” or “That’s really sweet that they’ve been together
for so long.” But what I
know about my parents now that I’ve been married myself for 16 years is that
they have stayed together out of love, strength, commitment and
determination. And that is to be
applauded way beyond something sweet, cute and by no means is it luck.
They made decisions, at the altar, and often daily, to stick
it out, work through the tough stuff and continue to find love. My mom told me once, reflecting on my
own upcoming marriage, that she fell in love with my father, but that to be
married was to choose to love him
daily. There were days that she
did not feel it, no butterflies in the stomach on those days, sometimes it felt
like the opposite. But by making
the choice every day, she could look back on the (then) 20 years and know that
their true love and grown into something so much more amazing than anything
that she had “felt” in the pit of her stomach in the beginning. She admonished me to make the choice to
love Keith every day, even when I don’t feel like it. And she was right.
And what a model, through that example, and through so many
other actions of her life, she has been of trusting God and teaching us to do
the same. There were many years of
her life where the end did not seem in sight, or the circumstances did not seem
to fit into what “should” have been God’s plan. In fact, we face one of those times as a family again
now. And she is leading the way in
saying, “I don’t get it God, but it is in your hands.” My mom has always been a great
writer & speaker, and I had the opportunity a few weeks ago to hear her
speak about some of these challenges in her life, and I took a page full of
notes, from a talk by my own mother!
She is still teaching me how to look towards Christ.
And she’s not perfect; I know that, of course, none of us
are. She’d be embarrassed herself
if I posted this without pointing that out. And, don’t you know it, as an adult, I’ve found some of my
own challenges are those that make me say, “I’m acting like my mother.” But this post is not about bringing any
of those things into sight. It’s
Mothers Day, and I wrote this as my gift, to honor her.
I pray one day that my daughter will find herself saying, “I’m
acting like my mother,” both in fault and in pride. I know that I do act like my mother, and I couldn’t be
more proud of that fact.
I love you, Mom, and I am so proud of you. You have been here for me my whole
life, and now I am here for you, even though I still need you, too! Thank you, with every ounce of my
being, for everything you’ve done and will still do for me.
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